


Of Yule Logs and Lovers

by Cobalt_Mystic (Heavenly_Bodies)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Community: noel_of_spike, M/M, Post-Chosen, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2013-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-24 08:25:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heavenly_Bodies/pseuds/Cobalt_Mystic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike, holidays, Xander, and a matchmaking Dawn, what more could you want… oh, yeah, smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Yule Logs and Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> **AN1:** This goes AU somewhere in the midst of AtS: Damage  
>  **AN2:** S8 comics... *sticks fingers in ears* lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala  
>  **AN3:** Xander didn’t lose his eye.
> 
> Originally posted on LJ, Dec. 24th, 2007 for the Noel_of_Spike community

He remembered Christmases from before he was turned; before his Dark Princess and her sadistic Sire. He remembered the smell of fresh pine, of cinnamon and apple. He remembered the soft, eerie glow of a room lit by firelight; Yule Logs and roasted chestnuts.

He remembered Christmases with Dru and Angelus, when the festive splashes of colour were the reds and creams of spilt blood and wrecked bodies, and the sweet scents were of sex and fear and fresh death.

He remembered Christmases when it was only him and his Princess under the stars- dancing, feeding, and fucking.

He wondered when his idea of Christmas had changed, yet again. It would be easy to claim it was the soul, but he knew better.

It may have started when he came to Sunnydale; when his surrogate Sire re-entered his unlife- both the souled and unsouled versions.

It may have been that first Christmas after the chip, seeing how the Scoobies came together to form their own hodgepodge family.

Or, maybe, it was Dawn and her open acceptance of him for who and what he was.

It _could_ have been any of those things, or any number of other incidents as well.

But Spike was fairly certain it was a pair of deep dark-chocolate eyes that had done the trick. The sparkle in those eyes over the holiday season never faltered- even when there was every reason for it to.

Those eyes were why he was here, in the middle of winter, standing outside one of the ‘new’ Council Houses, smoking and freezing his undead ass off. He wanted to give those eyes something to smile over- he only hoped his intel was right and he wasn’t making an unmitigated fool of himself.

It was hard to believe not even a full year had passed, yet things were so different now. Some of the things had been different before, but he’d been too preoccupied to notice- it was amazing what an agonizing death and several months without one’s body could do for your clarity of thought.

What had surprised him most wasn’t that his thoughts went to ‘him’, but that they didn’t once go to her. All those days and nights and who-knows-whens that his thoughts drifted, searching for comfort, it was always chocolate eyes, a blinding smile, dark curls, and work-tanned skin that his memory flooded with. It was nights begrudgingly sharing a sofa, snarking at the telly and each other that kept him going. It was the growing need and desire to see and _touch_ the boy he’d watched grow into a man that kept him fighting.

Once he was no longer among the corporeally challenged, Spike was planning to return to the Scoobies and the dark-eyed human he’d missed so.

But then, Andrew had shown up, spouting distrust, loathing, and misinformation.

After the snivelling weasel had left, Spike set about locating Dawn. It had taken a bit of work, but with Fred’s help, he found her. He was subjected to much squeeing and crying and laughing and screaming and lecturing, but he found out what he wanted to know… and then some.

According to his sweet Niblet, “Xander’s at the new Council House- marshalling the troops or some such.”

“Whelp’s okay then?”

“More or less.”

“Bit?”

“I don’t know, Spike. He lost a lot that day- more than the rest of us… more than I think he even knew.”

The line was silent for a moment as Dawn’s weighted words hung between them like flies caught in winter molasses.

Finally, she broke the silence, “Spike? Are you coming home?”

‘Coming home,’ that was the thing- did he even have a home? “Not sure I’d be wanted, let alone welcome, pet. You know that.”

“Please Spike… for me… for Xan- he needs you.”

“…what?!?”

“Oh bollocks, forget I said that. Please, Spike, please.”

Spike’s voice was soft. His unneeded breath taken from him, “Why…” he choked on the unformed words, “why would Xander need me?”

Something in his voice caused her to gasp and whisper, “Spike?”

“Yeah, Bit.”

“You… Do you…”

Sighing heavily, Spike cursed himself for five kinds of fool, “Maybe. I think… Hells, pet, I need to see him!”

“Then you **need** to come home. Gods, Spike, losing you was harder on him than losing Anya.”

A handful of conversations and some fancy footwork later, and Spike was waiting for the Slayer’s little sister outside an empty Council House. Spike had just ground his cigarette out under his boot, when a familiar voice screamed happily and his arms were filled with bubbly teenager.

“Gods! I missed you, you damn bastard.”

“Oi, no reason to insult my mum,” the vamp joked back.

Smiling Dawn giggled, “Come on, let’s get you inside before the others get back.”

Spike hesitated, “You sure ‘bout this, pet? Your sis is as likely to stake me as not. Can’t imagine she’ll be too pleased with you, come to that.”

Taking the vampire’s hand she squeezed, “Some things are worth the risks. Now, come in before I catch my death!” she ordered as she tugged her willing captive into the quiet building. “Besides, Buffy and Willow won’t be here ‘til tomorrow, so it’s just you, me, Xander, and Giles.” Dawn beamed, she was rather proud of how she’d managed to arrange things.

Spike raised a questioning eyebrow at the girl.

“What? I had a good teacher,” she nudged the vamp with her elbow.

Laughing, “You do know what a bad influence I am on you.”

“Of course,” the girl’s smile threatened to split her face, “and ya love me anyway.”

Pulling her to him, he kissed her head, “That I do, Niblet, that I do.”

Dawn opened a door on the second floor of the old Victorian, ushering Spike into the room. Of course ‘room’ was a bit of misnomer; ‘suite’ seemed more appropriate. The main room was an elegant sitting room with two overstuffed chairs banking a classical styled fireplace, and a matching love seat sat directly in front of it. Two large-paned windows lined the far wall, an oak writing desk between them. A doorway to the left led to the bedroom. Inside, a large, full-length dresser ran one wall, while a single bow window- complete with window seat- occupied the opposite wall, and in the centre was the bed. Queen sized if he was any judge with an obscene number of fluffy pillows and a deep blood-red duvet. But most importantly and, to Spike, best of all, the room reeked of Xander.

“Pretty nice, huh?”

There was a flare of mischievous fire in the sapphire eyes that smiled at her, “Oh, better than nice, pet.”

The deep purr in his voice sent tingling shivers through her body- once, not all that long ago, she would’ve given almost anything for him to create those shivers in her. Now she was just happy those emotions were directed at someone who deserved them and would return them with equal fervour. Smiling, the younger Summers turned to leave, “I’ll let you get settled.”

“’ey, Bit… thanks.”

Returning, she threw her arms around the vampire, “I’m next door if you need anything… Just, just make him happy, okay.”

“That’s the idea,” he whispered into her hair.

\---

The front door of the Council house blew open, bringing with it a gust of wind and snow, followed by two snowmen. Dawn swiftly marked her place in her book and uncurled herself from her seat by the fire. “You’re back! I was about to send out a search party.”

The second snowman was the first to respond, “Did she say party? Told ya we shouldn’t leave her alone.” Xander’s voice was jovial and his smile bright, but the sparkle in his eyes was ever-so-slightly duller than a year ago.

“Yes. Well, thankfully, I don’t believe she was referring to that kind of party.”

Xander laughed, “You never know with those Summers girls.” The young man winked at the Summers in question.

Shucking off his coat and scarf, Giles smiled fondly at his surrogate children, “Quite. Now, if you two will excuse me, I think a spot of tea then bed is in order.” The former librarian squeezed Xander’s shoulder affectionately and kissed Dawn on the forehead, “Night.” Calling over his shoulder as he headed towards the kitchen, “Do try not to do anything that would require emergency services or set about the next apocalypse.”

The pair laughed their replies of “Yes, Giles,” and “No problem, G-man.”

Once Giles had turned in, Xander laid into the hazel-eyed teen. “Alright, Dawnie, what’s going on?

“Hmm?”

“Dawn, I know you well enough to know when you’re up to something- so, what is it?”

“Xander, it’s Christmas! Isn’t a girl allowed to have a few surprises?”

Xander remained quiet, the questioning arch of his brow his only response.

“Oh, fine! You would’ve found out when you went to bed anyway. Let’s call it an early Christmas present.” With that the girl rose on her toes and kissed Xander’s cheek, “Merry Christmas, Xan,” then she disappeared up the stairs.

Letting out a small chortle, Xander shook his head and headed to the kitchen for his own cuppa- of the chocolate, rather than tea, variety- before heading upstairs.

Dawn scurried up the stairs, pausing at the door to Xander’s room, she placed her hand against the wood and whispered, “Good luck, Spike.”

\------

It felt like an eternity had passed before the hall door opened and the chocolate-eyed boy of Spike’s desire entered his rooms.

Xander took his time looking around the room, he doubted Dawn’s surprise would bite him, but he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of letting out one of his oh-so-manly girlie screams. But the only thing out of place in the front room was the warming fire in the fireplace. After spending all day out in the cold, grey British winter, he was tempted to curl up in front of the fire and to hell with Dawn’s surprise. Then again, curling up in his incredibly soft, warm, if empty, bed held its own appeal.

When Xander entered the bedroom, he half expected to find himself strung up by a booby-trap of mistletoe. What he didn’t expect was the haloed silhouette against the window of the vampire he’d lost before he even realized how much he meant to him.

Before Xander had a chance to fall to his knees, the silhouette turned making moonbeams appear to be cut in two by chiselled cheekbones, causing platinum hair to shine ethereally, and igniting the pure blue sparkle of sapphire eyes. “Been waitin’ for you, pet.”

Xander stumbled on suddenly weak legs toward the figure, “Spike!?”

The vampire reached out strong arms to steady the young man. “Careful, pet. You feelin’ poorly?”

Large brown eyes roamed wildly over the supposedly dusted vamp’s body, finally coming to rest on the dead man’s own deep eyes. “Spike,” he repeated, this time more certain. Throwing his arms around the vampire, “How? When?” His voice wanted to say and ask so much more, but he couldn’t allow it, so he settled for holding his vampire close while he had the chance.

Spike thought he’d died- again- this time going straight to heaven as he let himself melt into his boy’s warmth. Abstractly, he heard himself answering Xander’s questions, “Don’t know. Long story. Missed you, Xan, missed you so much. Had to see you…” Warm arms tightened around him as the bitter salty scent of tears filled his nostrils.

It wasn’t until they pulled back from the embrace, neither man willing to fully let go, that Spike realized some of those tears were, in fact, his.

Like synchronized swimmers their hands mirrored one another, coming up to cup a cheek and tenderly wipe at stray tears. Two sets of eyes watched thumbs caress skin before their gaze drifted to their partner’s slightly parted lips. Each man’s eyes flitted from lips to eyes and back again, until finally their lips brushed against each other.

The kiss was chaste and brief but left both man and vamp panting.

As their foreheads rubbed together, Xander puffed out quietly, “I’m sorry, you know. For not figuring it out …before.”

“Not like I was much better, luv. Took dying and comin’ back for me to suss it.”

“Jus’… just promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

Xander swallowed hard around the lump in his throat, “You’re not leaving.”

“No.”

“You’re not going to run into Buffy’s arms when she walks through the door?”

“Not here for her, am I.” Slowly, the vampire began walking the boy backwards, towards the bed, punctuating his words with gentle kisses over Xander’s face, “I’m here,” kiss, “for you,” kiss, “Alexander,” kiss, “LaVelle,” kiss, “Harris,” kiss.

Xander felt the back of his legs hit the bed a moment before all his senses became fixated on the strong cool hands touching him and the agile tongue tasting, petting, and exploring his mouth.

When Spike finally let Xander up for air, both men were on the bed, Spike’s slightly smaller form on top of the human. And somehow Spike had managed to unfasten both of their denims.

Spike ground his jutting erection into Xander’s cotton covered one causing twin moans to escape. He then began trailing kisses down the brunette’s neck. As he neared the sensitive juncture between neck and shoulder, warm hands pulled at his head. Spike allowed himself to be moved, but couldn’t look the boy in the eyes. When he spoke, the hurt was clear in every word, “Wasn’t gonna hurt you, Xander. Could never hurt you.”

“Don’t you think I know that, Spike?” The young man’s voice was soothing to the flustered vamp. “Look at me, please.”

Scared blue yes met heavily dilated brown ones.

“That’s better,” Xander smiled at his vamp. “I needed you to know something…”

Trying to regain his calm, “What’s that, pet?”

“I love you.”

The childlike shock on the vampire’s face brought an odd sense of relief to the mortal. “How? When?”

Xander smiled at the words he’d so recently uttered and answered the vamp in kind, “Don’t know. Long story. But I do and that’s what matters, isn’t it?”

Chuckling his deep rich chuckle, Spike went back to his slow perusal of his boy’s neck, “Yeah, pet, that’s the important bit; ‘specially important since I love you, too.”

Hearing those words Xander’s body tensed. “You…”

“…love you,” the vampire smiled slyly, but his eyes spoke of deep pure love, fear, and desire.

Xander’s arms slid longingly around the cool body above him, “Come here, vampire mine.”

In the clash of lips, tongues, and teeth that followed, the two men managed to make quick work of their clothing, ‘til they lay skin to skin, bodies electrified by the contrast of cool silk to warm velvet.

Petting his lover’s face, Spike whisper-purred into Xander’s ear, “Want you… but don’t wanna hurt you. Need to know what you want, luv.”

Somehow Xander’s lust addled brain located the question in Spike’s sultry words. It took a bit more effort for him to form and relay a reply. “Want you. Don’t care how- just want to feel you!”

“Feel me, hmm,” the blond’s honeyed voice crooned. “Feel me surrounding you, clenching and sliding along that magnificent shaft of yours while it splits me in two and burns me from the inside?”

The dark mortal clawed at Spike’s back and thrust hard against him, “Oh gods… yes… please…”

Spike smiled into the crook of his boy’s neck, licking and nipping the tender flesh as his hand snaked under a pillow for the slick he’d placed there earlier.

Positioning himself so he was straddling his beautiful dark boy, Spike sat up. Never taking his storm-darkened blue gaze from Xander’s luscious brown eyes, Spike slowly and expertly opened the tube, spreading a generous amount of the salve over his hand.

Spike didn’t need his preternatural senses to notice his love’s elevated heartbeat. “Shh, relax Xan,” he lovingly kissed his boy, “’s not for you; ‘s for me.” With that the vampire leaned back, reaching his slicked fingers behind him and impaled himself. His eyes closed as his head arched back and a silent moan escaped his open mouth.

As Xander marvelled at the blissful expression on the vamp’s face, Spike’s eyes fluttered open, piercing blue now ringed with gold.

“Wish it was you, Xan. Inside me, touching me, stretching me. Finding that spot- right there…” the blond arched and screamed, “Xander!!!” His eyes flashed demonic amber as his head tipped forward; his unneeded breath coming in heavy pants.

Reaching out, Xander cradled his vampire’s cheek in his hand. As Spike kissed his palm and nuzzled into the tender warmth of his hand, Xander spoke softly, “Then let me.”

For a moment, Spike froze. His eyes boring into the human’s as if they would tell him if his Xander truly wanted to do this. A slow, honest, and almost innocent smile crept across the vamp’s face and he carefully eased himself up the young man’s torso.

As Spike moved forward, Xander’s hands wandered the vamp’s body; stroking the smooth muscled contours of his chest and thighs.

Wordlessly, the vamp took Xander’s hand in his slick covered one. Intertwining their fingers, Spike spread the slimy substance over his lover’s hand.

The young man’s breath became heavier and heavier as Spike caressed the boy’s fingers, pulling their hands to his waiting entrance. With more restraint than even he would’ve given himself credit for, Spike traced his opening with Xander’s finger allowing his lover to feel the soft fluttering of the puckered flesh before hungrily guiding the digit inside.

Xander’s breath hitched and his eyes grew comically wide as the impossibly tight, cool, silky cavern encased him.

This time, Spike’s pleasured moan was audible and followed by words like, “So good. Wonderful. So hot. My perfect boy. Gods! Need you. Want you. Mine, please, Xander. Yes…” Before long the vampire was coaxing a second finger to join its mate.

When the second finger breached the tight ring of muscle, Xander began stretching and finger fucking his vampire in earnest- including crooking his fingers in search of that magic spot that had made the blond scream so beautifully earlier. It didn’t take much for Xander to find the small nubbin, and, flicking his fingers over it gently, elicit the most wonderful earthy moan from his lover.

As Xander grew more confident, he varied the pressure of his ‘touches’, the angle of his thrusts, and added a twist to his questing fingers.

Soon his vampire was incoherent, clutching at the bed clothes as he rode the boy’s hand. Finally, after a particularly wanton cry of pleasure, Spike forced his burning amber eyes to focus on his boy and he growled, “In me, now!”

Quickly, with one last twist, Xander removed his fingers from the vamp’s body, reaching to spread what remained of the slick on his aching, dribbling erection.

Spike he took the opportunity to explore Xander’s sweet, heavenly mouth again as he shifted down his boy’s body. The vampire then positioned himself above Xander’s throbbing cock and, locking their gazes, eased himself down the boy’s shaft.

When Spike had seated himself, his ass resting on Xander’s nest of curls, Xander had the irrational thought that he was dead. He had to be- nothing in the world he knew could feel this good, this perfect.

Then Spike squeezed.

With a pleasured cry, Xander bucked off the bed, driving himself further into his lover’s body.

Spike gasped as his features flickered between human and demon. Harder and faster than he’d intended, he rode his precious boy- quickly finding the perfect angle to press the bundle of nerves that sent jolts of pleasure thrumming through his body. “So, perfect,” he murmured, his body reeling from the devouring heat. The burn from being stretched and filled, combined with the blinding fire of his lover’s shaft was almost too much; so that when Xander’s searing touch pulled him down into a powerful, loving embrace, Spike exploded- streams of cool sticky come pulsing between them. 

His demon roared with his completion and his ‘true’ face came full force to the fore. Spike tried to pull away from his boy, not wanting to risk scaring or harming him.

“Don‘t. Please.” Warm lips sought out Spike’s cooler ones; a hair’s breath before they met Xander whispered, “Beautiful. Deadly. MINE.” Thrusting into his vampire, Xander held him tightly, riding out the waves of Spike‘s orgasm as he neared his own. 

One, two deep strokes, a clench of muscles, and an impossibly erotic whimper from his lover had Xander howling his release.

Tearing his mouth from Xander’s, Spike locked his jaw and buried his face in his boy’s neck as his body shook with every pump of come flooding him.

Humming softly, Xander held and caressed his vampire until their spasms subsided. So quietly that only Spike’s supernatural sense could make out the sound, Xander asked, “Why… why are you so scared, Baby?”

The blond’s still game-faced brow wrinkled and a sound Xander interpreted as ‘huh?’ was heard, then more clearly, “’m not.”

Xander chuckled kindly, “Right. That’s why you’re hiding your grrr face.”

“Not hidin’ it, and ‘m not scared. Jus’…”

“You just think after all this time I still won’t accept you or I’ll get freaked out.” The young man kissed the elegant marble column of his vamp’s neck. His next words went from quiet confession to pained sob, “Gods, Spike… I’m sorry. Sorry I ever made you feel unworthy, made you think I didn’t and couldn’t accept you, trust you …love you.” Xander nuzzled his face against Spike’s, “I’m not afraid. And I’m not freaked. There’s nothing you could do to change that either.”

When the vampire silently rolled off of him and left their bed, the mortal half expected his vamp to leave. Instead, Spike entered the washroom, returning with a warm damp cloth and began gently cleaning his lover. His task completed he tossed the cloth aside and scooted himself down next to his miraculous boy. Pulling Xander to him so his head rested over his silent heart, Spike adjusted the duvet over them and finally broke his silence. “I wanted to see you. Got hold of the Bit, she said you needed me. Couldn’t believe it at first, but you know how she is.”

Xander snorted his agreement.

“Anyway, thought maybe, if she was right, we could give ya a bit of a happy Christmas…” Spike quickly tightened his grip on the mortal and twined their fingers together. “Not like _that_ ya git. Never ‘ave given my heart as a present and sure as hell never gave my body to someone I didn’t love! So don’t be thinkin’ like that.”

Xander smiled shyly at the vampire who knew him so well and kissed his chest.

“I just wanted to make ya smile,” the vamp hmphed self-depreciatingly, “and, here, I got you instead.”


End file.
